sdvanaleigh

Archive for February, 2009|Monthly archive page

A Leave of Absence

In dating impaired, Uncategorized on February 16, 2009 at 2:09 am

So I’ve been gone for a good little while now more so because I was going through so shit and true indeed it was and still is shit! You ever date someone or see someone and find out all the things you thought were the truth about this person were complete fabrications of what he or she wanted you to see? I understand now more so than before that my stance on not doing relationships was not based on the fact that I had never really had one. It was because I chose to stay at a distance from all of the men who could have been heartbreakers, probably letting myself down more often than them but it’s what I felt I had to do. After all I had a heartbreaker once and he’s married now to someone else now, with this new dude I don’t know what to make of it and I’m so sick of being done. Like you ever said damn it I’m done and know that you’re really not….and that’s the killer cause you get so fid up so often but haven’t found the off switch. Talking to my best friend last night he said “if you gonna talk to the man or have the talk…then you gotta know what it is that you want to say more specifically what it is that you want or hope to gain from the conversation” now truth be told I want to gain something but what that something is I have no clue. So what do I do cause right now I’m doing nothing and nothing sure as hell won’t turn into something tomorrow so I sit. I could call but what would I say and why would I call what would that prove? Is there anything to prove and will I feel better or worse afterward? So many questions and with no answers only way to get one is to do something….

SDV

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